So, your ex couldn’t keep it in his pants, and now you can barely keep your paranoid thoughts in check. What’s a girl to do?!
“We were together for 9 months. We were the campus ‘power couple’”, says Annabelle J.*, age 23. “He cheated on me with 3 girls…I don’t let people toy with my emotions now.”
“The experience [of being cheated on] has greatly affected me,” says Nanette M.*, age 19. “I trust people a lot less. I am always on my guard.”
After being cheated on, it’s important to work towards restoring your faith in men, so that you can trust the next guy you date. One way to do this is by finding examples of truly strong, established couples. If your parents are still married and have a healthy relationship, look to them as a model. An alternative would be to look at a friend’s parents, whose relationship you admire. This will serve as a reminder that healthy relationships do exist and not all men cheat. It shows that fidelity is possible throughout a long-term relationship.
While your ex likely wasn’t very trustworthy, you should still be honest with yourself about the situation. It is common to project and classify all men as cheaters. Instead of letting yourself do this, take the time to reflect honestly of the relationship. Maybe your ex wasn’t the man you had convinced yourself he was. There may have been red flags in your relationship that you chose to ignore.
When cheated on, it’s not unusual to want some closure. Don’t fall into this trap. In order to move on, you don’t need answers as to why or how your ex cheated. In fact, staying in contact with your ex as you search for answers will only stall your recovery. It is completely normal to have a seemingly never-ending amount of questions that you want to ask. But even if your ex tries to give you the answers you’re seeking, he likely doesn’t truly know why he cheated. Being that self-aware is much harder than one may expect. All in all, it’s best to cut off contact with your ex sooner, rather than later.
Originally posted 2016-11-26 15:25:53.