First Step: Put Your Life Back in Line
You need to get over the break-up. This may be very hard but it is a necessary step in trying to win her back. Overcome the loneliness and sadness and start reshaping your life.
The points below can keep you motivated:
- Every girl needs to see self-improvement from a man. Try and change on the things she was complaining about you when you were together. Change your attitude and everything else you feel will make you a better person. Start dressing smartly and hang out with the right crew. If you demonstrate self-improvement, she will see you as a new guy, not the guy she dumped!
- You will never get her back if you are not emotionally healed. The breakup may be painful but you should get over it in one way or the other. Failure to do so will portray you as a desperate and clingy individual. Honestly, no woman in the world likes desperate men and neither will she.When she learns that you can still cope with life without her, she will admire you which gives you an edge in winning her back. You should know that women like independent and self-sufficient men who can cope with any situation in their lives. If you do it right and she learns that you are still having great time without her, she will want to come back to you and share the fun.
- Changing your wardrobe can do just fine. Purchase those items you have always fancied. If you know of a certain outfit she likes, this would be the best time to get it. When she sees you dressed in new and fancy clothes, she will notice some improvement in your life which she would like to be part of.
- Avoid displaying so much neediness. Stop behaving like your world ended when you broke up, do not go begging her to come back or going to her friends convincing them to lure her back. Trust me, this will only make her more withdrawn as she may enjoy seeing you suffer emotionally for a little while. She may even play pranks with you so as to inflict further emotional torment.
Change Your Attitude And Life For the Better
Your ex needs to see the mature and independent side of you. She also needs a guy who will be fun having around and so you should work towards becoming that guy. This might just help:
- Do not be jealous even if she has a boyfriend. Jealousy can be brought about by fear of losing her forever or the anxiety of winning her back. If she learns that you are jealous, most probably she will try to cause you more pain by flaunting because she feels in control.
- Pretend like everything is fine. Never let her know that you are emotionally depressed. Associate with people who makes you happy such as friends and family and will help you find happiness without her. She most likely will reject you if you are depressed or stressed and therefore you need to cheer up and find genuine happiness.
- Girls love playful and humorous guys. You can try that by learning a few jokes (friends can help). Make sure the jokes are light and not always about her or else it will get personal. You can also trying being playful when around her making sure that you are gentle all through. This shows her that you are non-aggressive and youthful person.
- Never call her when you are drunk. Drunk dialing can cost you the chance of ever winning her love again. Calling or texting while drunk will constantly push her further away from you because she sees you as a hopeless individual who has no focus in life. It also shows her how desperate you are.
Second Step: Set the Stage
Let her go. Here you should use the saying “If you love her very much, let her go, if she was meant to be yours, she will come back”. If you really had a good time together, she will have time to think about it and all that you meant to her. She eventually will feel the void in her life. You should let her go for the following reasons:
You need time to cool down your tempers especially if your relationship did not end well. At this point you need to apply the “no contact rule”. You can choose a period of your liking, be it 30, 45 or 90 days. Cut off all the communications even though it may hurt you, believe me, it will hurt her more.
Give her space because:
- People deserve some breathing space so that they can focus on their personal life
- She gets the opportunity of knowing your worth in her life. She will feel your absence.
- This shows her how independent you are. This makes her attracted to you even more.
- Find another girl and make her your friend. Ensure that your friendship is not intimate or else you risk her hating you forever. Having a female friend will show your ex how attractive you are to other girls.
- Make sure that you just friend-zone that girl because a hook-up will ruin any chance of getting back with her.
- Find a group of girls to hang with. This shows her that every girl is attracted to you and she will be more interested in getting you back for herself.
Be the Alpha Male
The alpha male is ranked highest in a group of primates and it gets to choose the females it wants. Definitely most girls will be attracted to the alpha male for the protection and respect that comes with it. Girls also believe that the alpha male will give biologically fit children. Things to do in order to be the Alpha male:
- Change your health: This means putting your body in balance. If maybe you are obese, it is time you shed off some weight. You may need to work on your abs if you have not done it already and so this is the best time to hit the Jim. In case you are an alcoholic or a heavy smoker, you should moderate your smoking or drinking habits.
- Change your wealth: Having high financial and social status matters to women and they are therefore attracted to men with these attributes. You should sit back and evaluate your life. How much do you earn? Where do you live? What are your goals in life? These questions will help you in knowing where you are in life and where you need to be in order to get her back. This is the best time to look for a better source of income and maybe set some new goals in life.
- Change your love life: It will not do you any good when you are thriving economically and you are physically fit, if your love life sucks. You need to learn how to treat and handle women. You need to acquire the loving and caring attitude which will separate you from any other man. When you can make a woman so comfortable that when she is with you she is not herself, you will no doubt win any lady’s heart. This comes from knowing what to do and when to do it.
- Change your wardrobe: Every lady is interested in a sharply dressed man. If you start dressing neatly and decently, you will be surprised at how easily ladies will fall for you. Ladies will see you as a go-getter who has focus in life and who leads an organized life.
- Change your company: To be an alpha male, you need to associate with people of your standards and status. It is time you dumb your old and goalless friends and instead hangout with people of vision who will add value to your life. This will cement your social and economic status.
- When you become the alpha male who is hunted by every girl in the neighborhood, you are ready for your ex. It is time to make the kill!!
Third Step: Make the Move
You can start by apologizing to her. Do this regardless of whether it’s you or her that ended your relationship. This shows your ex-girlfriend that she is greater than your ego and that you are caring enough to admit that you were wrong. If you give a perfect apology, you will be surprised at how miraculous it works. As part of the apology you can consider doing the following: Girls love flowers for reasons beyond men’s knowledge. Sending her flowers will change her attitude towards you and she will probably show them to her friends bragging about you. Every time she sees or smells them she will think about you and therefore you will have managed to be in the center of her thoughts. She will not be able to shut you out of her thoughts especially with something physical and pretty reminding her about you. A letter will do fine. You can start by saying something like: “I may not be able to heal your wounds with this letter and maybe I never will but you should know that I will forever care about you. That will never change! I have realized how much I lost in life when we broke-up”. Arrange a physical meeting at a place she will be comfortable and express how you feel. Admit that you made mistakes during your relationship and let her know that the biggest mistake you made was losing her. Do not ask her back, just state that you wanted to clear that from your chest. Regain your friendship with her. You may need to trust each other again after your broken relationship and so you should start mending the bridges. Girls do not trust easily and when betrayed it becomes hard for her to trust again. You need to show her that she can trust you again but I guarantee you that it is an uphill task. You can earn her trust by:
- Doing something good for her and expecting nothing in return. You can surprise her with coffee or tea, buy her movie tickets, pay for her bus fare and other little nice things that will show her that you still care.
- Hang out with her and do the things she likes most. Make sure that she enjoys your company. You can also recap on some funny moments you had together. Be confident, funny and playful all through.
Tell her that you still love her!
- Once she has accepted your apology and befriended you, you can then claim her back. Do this on a romantic spot, maybe on a candle lit dinner or on the beach. Do this when it just you and her present.
- You should express your honest feelings towards her. Do not focus on her wrongs but rather focus on yours. Tell her how much you have changed to ensure such things do not happen again.
- Promise her that you can fix the things that led to your breakup and that you have learned from your mistakes. Take her through how you plan to build a better relationship with her, because it is of no use if you get back together and go through the same issues.
By this point she will be powerless in front of you because you will have become the man she ever wanted. She will probably shed a tear or two and will be more than ready to take you back. After she accepts you back, you can thank her for giving you a second chance promising never to make her regret her decision. You do not want to go through this again so make sure you keep your promises. Stick to the new man that you become and never look back. I promise you it will be very hard to win her back if you lose her again because she will see you as a good actor and pretender, a man who can’t be trusted to keep his word.
Originally posted 2017-03-22 12:43:08.